Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.


This one is really simple.

I have to forgive myself for cheating on #TheBoyfriend last year.

I don’t quite know if i want to elaborate. I probably should, because its 30 days of honesty. Sigh.

Basically #TheBoyfriend and I were having a lot of problems over a year ago. I felt unappreciated, inadequate, unwanted. I felt distanced from him both emotionally and physically. Mostly emotionally.

And then one of the towtruckers who I had been getting closer to as a friend kissed me. I didnt kiss back, and I disapproved, but as my relationship with #TheBoyfriend continued to drift apart, I became more attached to him.

I never slept with him, but to me a kiss etc is cheating. And it was more than a kiss.

It was wonderful to have someone who got so excited about me telling him how my day was, the things I was going through, and the new things I learnt everyday. I felt appreciated, and loved.

I realize it may perhaps have all been a farce, a display put up to show me as a “trophy”. That’s what #TheBoyfriend says. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

I eventually told the man that he must never contact me again.

#TheBoyfriend was livid. I can’t blame him. I left my house at 3 in the morning to look for him as he was like a lunatic, full of anger and betrayal. We met up at a petrol station, and both just cried.

Do you know how terrible it made me feel to make someone else cry? *I* made him cry, and he hasn’t cried since primary school when he was bullied. This is over 10 years later and I am to blame.

Yet still, through #TheBoyfriend’s pain he said to me “No matter how hard I’m hurting, it still hurts worse to see you cry”.

It has taken a long time to regain #TheBoyfriend’s trust. Even now, I don’t think I will ever have it 100%. Yet our relationship IS stronger, and we are at a better understanding that if things start to go wrong, then to discuss it immediately. I think we’re getting beter at that.

Don’t get me wrong – #TheBoyfriend is no saint, either. We are working with each other. And have been together for just over 5 years, and still going strong 🙂

I ❤ u #TheBoyfriend.

Love.Cybelle

—————————————————————–

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Advertisements

13 responses to this post.

  1. Shoo hectic. Glad you could work through it though xx

    Reply

  2. Atleast you have both been able to overcome it and move forward.
    Relationships are hard and take a lot of work.

    Reply

  3. we often make unwise decisions at vulnerable times. Well done for being open about it

    Reply

  4. Glad you could get past this xxx

    Reply

  5. […] 01 → Something you hate about yourself Day 02 → Something you love about yourself Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your […]

    Reply

  6. […] 01 → Something you hate about yourself Day 02 → Something you love about yourself Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your […]

    Reply

  7. […] 01 → Something you hate about yourself Day 02 → Something you love about yourself Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your […]

    Reply

  8. […] 01 → Something you hate about yourself Day 02 → Something you love about yourself Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your […]

    Reply

  9. […] 01 → Something you hate about yourself Day 02 → Something you love about yourself Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your […]

    Reply

  10. […] 01 → Something you hate about yourself Day 02 → Something you love about yourself Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your […]

    Reply

  11. […] 01 → Something you hate about yourself Day 02 → Something you love about yourself Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your […]

    Reply

  12. […] 01 → Something you hate about yourself Day 02 → Something you love about yourself Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your […]

    Reply

  13. […] 01 → Something you hate about yourself Day 02 → Something you love about yourself Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: