As Much As We Hate It…

… Life goes on.

Today I started my second day of varsity, and it has been a pretty hectic day!

As I have finished Psychology, Sociology and Pharmacology from last year, I am left with Fundamental Nursing Sciences. Problem being, that it is one lecturer, and a whole day’s worth of classes. I started at 8pm today and ended at quarter to 5. One. Long. Ass. Day.

I have also been chosen as a mentor, so I get to train the second year Nursing students. 😀 Evil bitch is on the war-path! Just kidding, I have 2 great kids, and am hoping to build them up from the fundamentals and to surpass second year knowledge a bit so that they are prepared, because I simply don’t believe we had enough support with my year. I will be there to support them to the largest extent possible, and although I will push them, I will not overload them. I gave them my ground rules (and told them they are welcome to swear!), and yes, it does make me feel important and all that. It also means I can revisit applications I have forgotten, and brush up on my techniques. It makes me feel not so useless. As if I actually have knowledge (imagine that!)

On Thursday I start my theatre rotations. I truly do not see myself as a theatre/scrub nurse at all and right now I am terrified! I am hoping that all goes well, hold thumbs for me!

It has been 8 days since Cliff died. Most days I am doing okay, but today I spiralled downhill. It never hit me except today, to think about his last moments. I wonder what went through his mind, I wonder if he cried while putting the gun to his head, I wonder if the gun was cold or if he had been handling it and it was warm, I wonder what he felt when the bullet ripped through his skull and brain, I wonder if he realized the chaos his seemingly simple act caused, I wonder…. I wonder.

From what I have heard, Cedric was found lying next to his dead owner.

heart-broken all over again…


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