Conversations with a Madwoman (me)


Conversation 1 (#TheBoyfriend):

I was told that I cannot tweet this, so I am hoping #TheBoyfriend will not find this on my blog, of which he most probably will, and I will be sex-deprived into oblivion. However, I have had many requests and it is simply too “TMI” not to share!

As many of you know, we have been in a relationship for 5 and a half years, and at that stage in our relationship, we are fairly comfortable with certain bodily things. Unfortunately, #TheBoyfriend has this habit of sticking his finger into my nose, and straight into my mouth which I cannot handle!

My voice became rather high-pitched after he did this to me last night, ending with “I DON’T MIND IF YOU STICK YOUR FINGER IN MY NOSE, BUT DON’T PUT IT IN MY MOUTH AFTERWARDS!”

Of which he now thinks it is okay to stick his finger in his nose and then my mouth. Help!

Conversation 2 (Mother-dearest):

Whilst lying on my bed, my mother and I had the following conversation:

Me: I am going to speak to Rachel to see when she can help me paint my bed white (it is this awful maroon colour at the moment)

Mother: Don’t you prefer a new bed frame?

Me: Yes, I need one.

Mother: Why do you need one?

Me: Because it squeaks when #TheBoyfriend and I have sex.

Mother: No it doesn’t.

Me: *makes forward and backwards movements on bed – it squeaks*

Mother: Why don’t you just do it on the floor?

Bwahahahah!

I then offered her some Rough-Rider condoms that I was given when i volunteered at Disa, however, she declined them.

Advertisements

7 responses to this post.

  1. I was laughing so much at your conversation with your mother!

    Reply

  2. Posted by Gina on March 30, 2011 at 11:56

    ROFLMAO!!!!

    Reply

  3. Posted by marc(frosty911) on March 30, 2011 at 11:59

    Oh ur in trouble now!!

    Reply

  4. LOL Seriously LOL.

    I love that your mom said the bed doesn’t squeak when you have sex – as if she’s usually in the room when this happens.

    Reply

  5. Umm carry some chilli around with you and then put that on his fingers, maybe he’ll not stick them in his nose? At the very least after the first time, it won’t happen again. :0

    Reply

  6. Posted by meganstow on March 30, 2011 at 14:39

    you truly are one of the oddest people i have ever met. I like you. you can stay 😛

    Reply

  7. Posted by Lauren Lowenburg on March 30, 2011 at 16:18

    OMG! ROFLMAO! Wahahahaha wow u paint a really good picture I could so see u having that convo with ur mom and doing the freaky movements hahaha oh my word, shit u funny!! Yussy I’m laughing so hard! Not at u but because I think u’re great, refreshing and awesome that u r so sure of ur self that u share it with everyone. Cos Lord knows that we’ve all had random experiences like that with our own men and mother’s in our love lives. Rock on Timy! Love u always!! Xxx

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: